“Hallo, Pooh,” he said. “How’s things?”
“Terrible and Sad,” said Pooh, “because Eeyore, who is a friend of mine, has lost his tail. And he’s Moping about it. So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?”
A.A. Milne
“Oh, bother.” I’ve taken a break in writing recently, as you can see since my last post was five months ago…pandemics are rough, guys. We all deserve a little grace during these challenging days.
As a parent of a young child, I am privy to (or held hostage by, tomato, to-mah-to) the bevy of children’s shows, books, and characters available to our youngsters. Few have stood the test of time so robustly as Winnie-the-Pooh and his best pals in the Hundred Acre Woods. If you read the books by A.A. Milne, you will notice seemingly random capitalizations of words throughout the pages. However, just like in the quote above, the words chosen to be capitalized are most certainly not random, and are quite often words used to express feelings and emotions.
As a pediatric psychiatrist, I find this so incredibly crucial. By capitalizing words expressing feelings and emotions, it emphasizes the importance of somewhat elusive concepts, especially to children who may have a difficult time understanding or labeling such emotions. As Hermione Granger said, “Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.” We need to talk about feelings, not sweep uncomfortable emotions under the rug or lock them up in the depths of our psyches. Milne was a keen observer of the human condition, and crafted his tales so even the youngest of readers could find themselves woven amidst the chapters.
My son has recently taken to concise expression of his moods. If he is upset, he goes to sit in a specific location in our house, then succinctly says he is Sad or Mad or whatever else his Big Feeling at the time may be. He sighs in his dramatic toddler fashion, requests a hug, and promptly states he is now Happy. Because according to Pooh, “A hug is always the right size”.
I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned over the past several months is to just listen. Especially when we cannot be with our loved ones face to face at all or as frequently as before. Listening can be exhausting sometimes…and I know…I’ve made a career of it. But how else can we really connect to another person? How else can we see a picture of their internal landscape? Take the time. And take the advice of a silly old bear – “If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”
In Search of Nostalgia 